I squint, unable to focus on the words, but after a few seconds, the block letters sharpen: FLIGHT RISK. I pluck one out-which makes my scalp sting-and lower it to eye level it’s pink. I rip it off, suddenly angry, and raise both hands to inspect my head further. But instead of hair and scalp, I find a cotton hat. With my arms free, I instinctually raise my right hand to scratch my head. The purple lady moves closer, her breasts brushing against my face as she bends across me to unhook the restraints, starting on the right and moving to the left. Why would she choose today to reenter my life? Sybil? Where am I? I shove myself against the straps again.ĭon’t you go doing that, she croons in a familiar Jamaican accent. Her expression never changes, as if I hadn’t said a thing. Home.īefore the relief finishes washing over me, though, I see her. There’s an unopened window to my right that looks onto a street. I wrap my hands around the rails and pull up, but again the straps dig into my chest, yielding only a few inches. The vest connects to two cold metal side rails. My fingers find a thick mesh vest at my waist holding me to the bed like a-what’s the word?-straitjacket. I lurch forward, but something snaps against me. I know immediately that I need to get out of here. After a moment I recognize them: TV, curtain, bed. Objects emerge from the murk and sharpen into focus. Word by word the questions come: Where am I? Why does my scalp itch? Where is everyone? Then the world around me comes gradually into view, beginning as a pinhole, its diameter steadily expanding. My thoughts translate only slowly into language, as if emerging from a pot of molasses. There is a dull foreboding in the pit of my stomach. I can’t tell if I’m moving my mouth or if there’s even anyone to ask. The story it tells is terrifying in some respects, but hopeful in others.Īt first, there’s just darkness and silence. The book is well-written, interesting, and compelling. She pursues answers and creates a narrative the way she would a feature story in fact the book stems from a feature she wrote about herself once she returned to her position at the Post. Because she has very few memories of that time, she treats herself as the subject of a story. Cahalan serves as both the subject as well as the author, but not in the traditional memoir way. But the journey to get there is fascinating, especially because Ms. It is not a spoiler to say that doctors eventually figured out what was going on. Was she having a nervous breakdown? Was she bi-polar? Was she sick with something that was physically altering her brain? One doctor thought she was an alcoholic she eventually was admitted to an epilepsy ward at NYU, where she underwent tests as her condition deteriorated. She was paranoid, manic, and even started to have seizures. Cahalan was a reporter at the New York Post when she started acting strangely. This book caught my eye and I’m really glad it did. Even though I have about 20 unread books on my Kindle – including that bastard book five of A Song of Ice and Fire – I always wander into this newsstand/bookstore when I’m at the airport. This latest book comes courtesy of that old traveler’s standby, Hudson News. I’ve been reading at a faster clip now that I’m actually done with the Cannonball. “A fascinating look at the disease that…could have cost this vibrant, vital young woman her life” ( People), Brain on Fire is an unforgettable exploration of memory and identity, faith and love, and a profoundly compelling tale of survival and perseverance. In an “unforgettable” ( Elle), “stunningly brave” (NPR), and breathtaking narrative, Susannah tells the astonishing true story of her descent into madness, her family’s inspiring faith in her, and the lifesaving diagnosis that almost didn’t happen. Now she was labeled as violent, psychotic, a flight risk. Days earlier, she had been on the threshold of a new, adult life: at the beginning of her first serious relationship and a promising career at a major New York newspaper. When twenty-four-year-old Susannah Cahalan woke up alone in a hospital room, strapped to her bed and unable to move or speak, she had no memory of how she’d gotten there. NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARRING CHLOË GRACE MORETZĪ “captivating” ( The New York Times Book Review), award-winning memoir and instant New York Times bestseller that goes far beyond its riveting medical mystery, Brain on Fire is a powerful account of one woman’s struggle to recapture her identity.
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